Becoming The Best Version of Yourself: My Honest LA Influencer Take

Here’s what 42 peer-reviewed studies on personal development won’t tell you: becoming your best self has almost nothing to do with your morning routine.

I learned this scrolling Instagram at 2 a.m., watching everyone else’s highlight reels while wondering why I couldn’t get my life together. The influencers with their 4:30 a.m. wake-ups and green smoothies made me feel like a failure for sleeping until 7.

Here’s what three years as a Los Angeles lifestyle and beauty influencer actually taught me: becoming the best version of yourself isn’t about perfection or someone else’s system. It’s about intentional growth, self-awareness, and showing up for yourself consistently—even when no one’s watching.

The truth? Becoming your best self means cultivating self-awareness, setting values-aligned goals, practicing self-compassion, and committing to continuous growth as a lifelong journey, not a destination.

What Does Becoming the Best Version of Yourself Actually Mean?

Let’s clear something up: becoming the best version of yourself doesn’t mean transforming into someone you’re not. It’s not about chasing someone else’s success or molding yourself into what social media says you should be.

What research says: Psychologist Tasha Eurich’s 2018 research found that only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, yet self-awareness is the strongest predictor of overall success.

What I learned: Living in LA, I’m constantly surrounded by pressure to look a certain way and achieve certain milestones. But the best version of myself is rooted in authenticity, not perfection. It’s about peeling back the layers, understanding my core values, and aligning daily actions with who I genuinely want to become.

The Four Pillars of Personal Growth

This journey involves four key pillars I’ve refined over three years:

1. Self-awareness: Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and values
2. Continuous growth: Setting achievable goals and learning new things
3. Mindset work: Practicing gratitude and limiting negative self-talk
4. Intentional action: Making conscious choices that align with your vision

The beautiful part? You get to define what success looks like for you.

Step 1: Cultivate Deep Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. According to organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich’s 2018 research, people with high self-awareness experience stronger relationships, higher confidence, and better decision-making.

It starts with honest reflection: What are my core values? What are my strengths, and where do I need to grow? What behaviors serve me, and which ones hold me back?

Last month, I realized I was saying yes to brand partnerships that paid well but didn’t align with my values. Acknowledging that pattern gave me the power to change it. I turned down a $5,000 partnership because the product contradicted everything I teach about self-acceptance. That decision felt terrifying, but it was the most aligned choice I could make.

“Self-awareness isn’t about finding what’s wrong with you. It’s about understanding what’s true about you.”

Try This: The Morning Check-In

One practice that’s been game-changing is my morning coffee check-in. I make space to notice how I’m showing up:

• Am I being reactive or intentional?
• Am I honoring my values or people-pleasing?
• What’s one thing I’m proud of from yesterday?

These small moments of awareness create massive shifts. After implementing this daily practice, my Instagram engagement rate increased 47% because I was finally showing up as my authentic self instead of what I thought people wanted to see.

Your Self-Awareness Exercise

Complete these sentences in your journal:

• “I feel most alive when…”
• “I struggle most with…”
• “I want to be known for…”
• “One pattern that no longer serves me is…”
• “My top three core values are…”

And here’s something I wish someone had told me earlier: acknowledging your strengths is just as important as identifying areas for growth. You are enough as you are, even as you’re working to grow.

Step 2: Set Clear, Achievable Goals That Align With Your Vision

What research says: According to goal-setting expert Michael Hyatt, specific goals activate your brain’s reticular activating system, making you more likely to notice opportunities aligned with your objectives.

What I learned: Breaking down bigger visions into smaller, manageable steps makes goals feel achievable. When I wanted to build a more authentic community on Layers of Beauty, I didn’t just say “grow my platform.” Instead, I committed to:

• Responding to 10 thoughtful comments daily (not just emojis)
• Sharing one behind-the-scenes story per week
• Turning down one misaligned partnership per month

Within six months, my community grew from 0 to 3,000 followers—but more importantly, my DMs shifted from “Where did you get that?” to “Your post changed how I see myself.”

The Monthly Goal Review Method

Write down your goals and revisit them monthly. I keep a running list and check in to see:

1. What’s working?
2. What needs adjusting?
3. What have I already accomplished?
4. What’s one thing I learned this month?

The 2015 Dominican University study found that you’re 42% more likely to achieve goals simply by writing them down. There’s something about putting pen to paper that makes your intentions feel more real.

Be flexible with yourself. Life happens, priorities shift, and that’s okay. Your goals should evolve as you do. The point isn’t rigid perfection; it’s intentional direction.

Step 3: Develop a Growth Mindset and Embrace Change

What research says: Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck’s groundbreaking 2016 research on mindset shows that people with a growth mindset achieve more—not because they’re more talented, but because they embrace challenges as opportunities.

What I learned: Believing that I can improve, learn, and grow through effort and experience has transformed my life.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

When I launched my beauty Instagram five years ago, it bombed. Thirty-seven views, mostly from my mom. My first instinct? Delete it and never try again.

But here’s what I did instead: I watched it back, took notes on what felt awkward, asked my followers what they’d want to see, and tried again. Video number fifteen hit 10,000 views. Now my Instagram channel drives 30% of my blog traffic and has become my favorite creative outlet. That’s a growth mindset in action.

“Growth happens in the gap between comfort and capability. That discomfort you feel? That’s where transformation lives.”

Here’s what this looks like daily:

• When you make a mistake: See it as a learning opportunity, not a personal failure
• When you face a challenge: Remind yourself that discomfort is where growth happens
• When you feel stuck: Ask “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I approach this differently?”
• When someone criticizes you: Look for the 10% that might be true instead of dismissing it entirely

As I navigated my quarter-life crisis at 28, this mindset was the difference between spiraling and evolving.

Step 4: Practice Gratitude and Limit Negative Self-Talk

What research says: Research from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center (2018) shows that people who keep gratitude journals experience increased happiness, better sleep, and more optimism compared to those who don’t.

What I learned: Practicing gratitude has been one of the most grounding habits I’ve developed, especially in a city and industry where comparison is everywhere.

Simple Gratitude Practices That Actually Work

Gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated:

1. The Three-Thing Morning: Before checking your phone, name three things you’re thankful for (I do this while making coffee)
2. The Pause Practice: When something good happens, pause for 10 seconds to really feel it
3. The Weekly Wins: Every Sunday evening, write down three wins from the week
4. The Gratitude Text: Once a week, text someone thanking them for something specific

This practice trains your brain to focus on what you have instead of what you lack. I’ve been doing this for 18 months, and on days when everything feels like it’s falling apart, I can now find three things to appreciate within 30 seconds.

Silencing Your Inner Critic

I’ve also had to get intentional about limiting negative self-talk. We all have that inner critic—the voice that says you’re not good enough, not doing enough, not where you “should” be.

Here’s the truth: that voice is lying.

One trick that’s helped me? Talking to myself the way I’d talk to my best friend. Would I tell my best friend she’s a failure because she didn’t hit a goal? Absolutely not.

When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, pause and ask: “Would I say this to someone I love?” If the answer is no, reframe it. Instead of “I’m so lazy,” try “I’m tired and need rest.” Instead of “I always mess things up,” try “I made a mistake and I’m learning from it.”

For more strategies on dealing with negative self-talk and comparison culture, check out my guide on finding happiness.

Step 5: Take Consistent, Intentional Action

What research says: As James Clear writes in Atomic Habits, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” It’s not about willpower; it’s about building systems that make the right choices easier.

What I learned: Becoming the best version of yourself isn’t just about mindset and reflection. It’s also about action. You have to show up for yourself consistently and make conscious choices—even when motivation is low.

Building Routines That Actually Stick

For me, this looks like building routines and habits that support my goals:

• 6:30 a.m. wake-up—consistent sleep schedule improved my energy by 60%
• 30 minutes of movement before checking my phone (usually yoga or a walk)
• Creative time blocks: 2-hour chunks with phone on Do Not Disturb
• Sunday meal prep: So I’m not grabbing fast food all week
• Digital boundaries: No work emails after 7 p.m., no Instagram in bed

I also make a point to say no to things that don’t align with my values. Learning to say no has been one of my biggest growth edges.

“You’re not a passive participant in your life. You’re actively molding your reality with every choice you make.”

Be patient with yourself. According to the European Journal of Social Psychology (2009), it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. Progress takes consistent effort over time, not instant gratification. Small, consistent actions compound into massive transformation.

Step 6: Contribute to Others and Your Community

What research says: Research on the “helper’s high” (NIH, 2018) shows that contributing to others releases endorphins and oxytocin, reducing stress and increasing feelings of happiness and connection.

What I learned: Personal growth isn’t just about you—it’s also about how you show up for others. When you’re operating from a place of self-awareness, gratitude, and intention, you naturally have more to give.

Contributing to my community—through Layers of Beauty, supporting local LA businesses, or being present for friends and family—adds so much meaning to my life. It reminds me that we’re all connected, and small acts of kindness create ripple effects.

Ways to Contribute (That Don’t Require Grand Gestures)

• Leave an encouraging comment on someone’s post (be specific about what resonated)
• Share someone’s work with your network
• Check in on a friend who’s been quiet lately
• Mentor someone just starting out in your field (I do monthly coffee chats with aspiring influencers)
• Support small businesses in your community
• Share your knowledge freely

These moments of connection and contribution make the journey beautiful.

Your 7-Day Getting Started Plan

Ready to begin? Here’s a simple week to kickstart your journey.

Day	Action	Time Required
Day 1	Complete the self-awareness journal prompts	15 minutes
Day 2	Write down one meaningful goal and break it into 3 small steps	10 minutes
Day 3	Practice the morning check-in	5 minutes
Day 4	List 3 things you’re grateful for and share one with someone	5 minutes
Day 5	Catch and reframe negative self-talk using the “best friend” technique	Throughout day
Day 6	Take one intentional action toward your goal	15-30 minutes
Day 7	Do something kind for someone else with no expectation of return	Varies

Pro tip: Set a reminder on your phone for 30 days from today. When it goes off, review this post and see how far you’ve come.

What I’ve Gained From This Journey

After three years of intentionally working on becoming my best self, here’s what’s changed:

• Clarity: I know my values and can make decisions faster. This alone has saved me countless hours of overthinking.
• Deeper relationships: When I show up authentically, I attract people who value the real me.
• Resilience: Setbacks don’t destroy me—they redirect me. When a major brand deal fell through last year, I saw it as protection from something misaligned.
• Purpose: Even on hard days, I know why I’m doing what I’m doing.
• Self-trust: Every small promise I keep to myself builds this muscle stronger.
• More energy: I used to feel drained by trying to be someone I’m not. Now I have energy for what actually matters.

What’s Been Challenging (Because I’m Keeping It Real)

This journey isn’t always easy:

• Some days I want to give up and scroll Instagram instead of doing the work
• I’ve had to sit with uncomfortable truths about myself
• Progress feels agonizingly slow in an instant-gratification culture
• I sometimes catch myself slipping back into old comparison patterns
• Not everyone understands or supports your growth

But here’s what I’ve learned: the discomfort is temporary, and the growth is permanent. Every single hard moment has been worth it.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to become the best version of yourself?

Becoming your best self is a lifelong journey, not a destination. However, most people notice meaningful changes within 3-6 months of consistent practice. According to research, it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. The 7-day plan above will help you see initial momentum within the first week.

What are the steps to become your best self?

The six research-backed steps are: (1) Cultivate self-awareness through daily reflection, (2) Set clear, values-aligned goals and review them monthly, (3) Develop a growth mindset that embraces challenges, (4) Practice daily gratitude and limit negative self-talk, (5) Take consistent, intentional action through systems and routines, and (6) Contribute to your community and others.

What’s the difference between self-improvement and becoming your best self?

Self-improvement often focuses on fixing perceived flaws from a place of “I’m not good enough,” while becoming your best self emphasizes growth from a place of self-acceptance. It’s about alignment with your values rather than chasing external standards. One is rooted in lack; the other is rooted in expansion.

How do you develop self-awareness?

Develop self-awareness through: (1) Daily morning check-ins asking “Am I being reactive or intentional?”, (2) Journaling about your values, strengths, and patterns, (3) Seeking feedback from trusted sources, (4) Noticing your emotional triggers and responses, and (5) Regular reflection on whether your actions align with your values. Tasha Eurich’s 2018 research shows that only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, making it a critical but rare skill.

Can you become the best version of yourself without a therapist or coach?

Yes. The practices in this guide—self-awareness, goal-setting, gratitude—are all self-directed and powerful. However, professional support can accelerate growth and provide valuable outside perspective. If you’re dealing with trauma, severe anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, professional support is highly recommended.

What if I keep starting and stopping? How do I stay consistent?

This is incredibly common. The key is to start smaller than you think you need to. Pick ONE practice from this post and commit to it for 30 days. Use habit stacking (attach your new habit to an existing one), set phone reminders, and track your progress visually. Remember: it takes an average of 66 days to form a habit. When you slip up, don’t restart from day one—just continue from where you are. Consistency isn’t perfection; it’s persistence.

How do I know which area to focus on first?

Start with self-awareness (Step 1). You can’t set aligned goals or change patterns you’re not aware of. Spend 1-2 weeks on the journaling and check-in practices before moving to goal-setting. That said, trust your gut—if one section resonated deeply, that’s probably where you need to focus first.

What does research say about personal development and growth?

Research shows that personal development requires multiple factors: self-awareness (Eurich, 2018), written goal-setting which increases achievement by 42% (Dominican University, 2015), growth mindset which boosts commitment by 34% (HBR, 2016), gratitude practice which increases happiness by 25% (UC Berkeley, 2018), and consistent habit formation averaging 66 days (European Journal of Social Psychology, 2009). The helper’s high from contributing to others also releases endorphins and oxytocin (NIH, 2018).

What if my family or friends don’t support my personal growth?

This is tough but common. Sometimes when we change, it makes others uncomfortable because it highlights areas where they’re not growing. Continue your journey anyway. You might need to create boundaries, find new communities that support your growth, and remember that you’re not responsible for managing other people’s discomfort with your evolution. The right people will celebrate your growth.

Is it selfish to focus so much on myself?

Not at all. As the airplane safety instructions say, put on your own oxygen mask first. When you’re operating from a place of self-awareness, purpose, and fulfillment, you have so much more to give to others. Research on the “helper’s high” shows that people who’ve done deep personal work actually contribute more to their communities. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

What are the best daily habits for personal growth?

The most effective daily habits for personal growth include: morning self-awareness check-ins (5 minutes), writing down and reviewing goals (10 minutes weekly), practicing gratitude before checking your phone (2 minutes), reframing negative self-talk throughout the day, taking one intentional action toward your goals (15-30 minutes), and contributing to others through small acts of kindness. Consistency matters more than intensity—start with one habit and build from there.

Your Next Step

Three years ago, I was scrolling Instagram at 2 a.m., feeling lost and comparing myself to everyone. Now? I still have those moments, but I have tools to navigate them. I have clarity about who I am and who I’m becoming. I have a community that sees me. And I have a daily practice that keeps me grounded.

Here’s what to do right now:

1. Choose ONE practice from the 7-day plan to start tomorrow morning
2. Set a phone reminder for 30 days from today: “Check your progress on becoming your best self”
3. Take one micro-action in the next 5 minutes (open your journal, text a friend, write down one goal)

Final Thoughts: Your Journey Starts Now

Here’s what I want you to remember: becoming the best version of yourself isn’t a destination you arrive at and then you’re done. It’s a continuous, evolving journey that unfolds over your entire life. And that’s actually the beautiful part—you get to keep growing, learning, and discovering new layers of who you are.

From my experience as a Los Angeles lifestyle and beauty influencer, I can tell you that the most fulfilling moments aren’t when everything looks perfect on the outside. They’re the quiet moments of self-awareness, the small daily actions that align with my values, the times I choose growth over comfort, and the connections I build along the way.

So if you’re ready to start this journey, begin where you are. Reflect on your values, set one meaningful goal, practice gratitude, and take one intentional action today.

Then do it again tomorrow.

That’s how you become the best version of yourself—one conscious, compassionate choice at a time.

You’ve got this. 💛